At just 12 years old, Daneka Etchells knew something was deeply wrong when her first period arrived. While her friends experienced normal cycles, hers were brutally heavy and accompanied by excruciating pain that would only worsen over time.
When she finally sought help from her GP, she was prescribed the contraceptive pill—but it offered no relief. Over the next 17 years, she visited countless doctors, each time hoping for answers. Instead, she says she faced what is now known as “medical gaslighting,” where healthcare professionals dismiss or invalidate a patient’s symptoms, leaving them to doubt their own pain.
By the time doctors diagnosed the underlying cause—endometriosis, a condition affecting one in ten women—it had already caused permanent damage. The disease had grown extensively on nerves and ligaments connected to her legs. Surgery removed the lesions, but the nerve damage was irreversible. Today, Etchells lives with a permanent physical disability.
“It grew so vast and so wide and for so long, on nerves and ligaments that are attached to my legs,” she told the BBC Access All podcast. She now uses a mobility aid and experiences constant pain, yet she has returned to the stage—performing in a new adaptation of The Secret Garden that eerily mirrors her own journey.
A 17-Year Battle for Answers
Endometriosis occurs when tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside it, causing severe pain, heavy periods, and sometimes infertility. On average, it takes nine years to receive a diagnosis. For Etchells, who is also neurodivergent, the wait stretched to 17 years.
The turning point came when she saw a female GP who took her seriously, prescribed appropriate medication, and referred her to a gynaecologist. But by then, the damage was done. The final straw arrived during what should have been a career highlight: performing as Lucius in Titus Andronicus at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre in London.
“I was using my walking stick pretty much all the time at that point and I could barely get up the stairs,” she recalls. “I felt so under the weather, so fatigued and in so much pain.”
The role became impossible. Soon after, she was forced to take six months off work. She describes feeling “trapped” in her own body, with periods so severe and bladder and bowel problems so debilitating that she couldn’t leave her house for months at a time.
The Cost of Waiting
Unable to endure the NHS waiting list any longer, Etchells saved, borrowed, and raised money through GoFundMe for private treatment. She even negotiated with the surgeon’s secretary to secure the best possible price. The excision surgery—which removes endometriosis lesions—brought some relief, making her feel “lighter.” But the years of dismissal had already left their mark.
“I medically gaslight myself to get through the day,” she admits, referring to the neuropathic pain in her legs that she must sometimes ignore when work prevents her from taking strong pain medication.
The Secret Garden: A Story That Mirrors Reality
Etchells now performs as Martha, a maid, in a disabled-led stage adaptation of The Secret Garden at Theatre Royal Bath. The production, written by playwright Tom Wentworth, reimagines the classic 1911 novel with a modern twist: the disabled character Colin is no longer miraculously cured but instead learns to advocate for himself and be heard.
In the original story, Colin—a boy confined to a wheelchair—regains his father’s love by being miraculously healed, able to walk and run. Wentworth, who describes himself as “queer and disabled,” found that ending deeply unsatisfying. It didn’t reflect his own reality, so he rewrote it.
“The thing is, disabled people know their bodies incredibly well,” says Wentworth. “We should, I firmly believe, be trusted more than some other people, because we’ve been living in these bodies and we’ve been hyper-aware of them for so long. And the lack of trust is quite palpable.”
Wentworth has experienced medical gaslighting firsthand. After a series of urological problems, he says doctors often attributed his symptoms to his cerebral palsy rather than investigating the actual cause. He has filed complaints with his local Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) but has seen mixed results.
Empowering Young People
Through his adaptation, Wentworth aims to teach young audiences how to recognize when they are being gaslit and how to advocate for themselves. The production gives Colin the language to speak up and get what he needs—something both Wentworth and Etchells wish they had learned earlier.
A Widespread Problem
Medical gaslighting is not an isolated issue. Healthwatch England, which describes itself as “your health and social care champion,” works with the NHS to improve patient experiences. William Pett, its interim director of policy, says what Etchells and Wentworth experienced can “unfortunately” happen all too often, particularly for conditions like endometriosis and ADHD.
Pett notes that young people, women, and those identifying as LGBTQ are “less likely to feel listened to by healthcare professionals than others.” Healthwatch England has called for reforms to the NHS complaints system to ensure quicker, more satisfactory responses. Meanwhile, the NHS has introduced Martha’s Rule, allowing patients and their families to request a rapid review if a condition is deteriorating.
A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson stated: “Our renewed Women’s Health Strategy recognises medical gaslighting as a real barrier, particularly for those living with conditions like endometriosis, and our recently published Quality Strategy sets clear standards to ensure everyone—including disabled people—receives the high-quality, respectful care they deserve.”
Moving Forward
While Etchells wishes she had been listened to during that first GP visit at age 13, she now feels “lucky” to be under a dedicated endometriosis team that truly hears her. She continues to perform, using her platform to raise awareness about the condition and the importance of believing patients.
“Every patient deserves to be heard, believed, and treated with dignity,” the Department of Health and Social Care added, emphasizing that the government’s 10-year Health Plan aims to put patient voice at the heart of NHS reforms.
For now, Etchells focuses on what she can do—acting, advocating, and sharing her story so others might not have to wait 17 years for answers.
