Across social media, a new wave of women are candidly sharing a deeply relatable experience: the sudden, inexplicable feeling of being “the ugliest person alive.” In a viral TikTok video with 2.4 million views, a woman in her early 30s stares into the camera, captioning the moment with “POV: Girls in their luteal phase.” The comments flood in with agreement: “This is literally me,” one writes. “I’m angry at how accurate this is,” says another.
These videos are part of a growing online conversation about the “luteal uglies” – a term women use to describe the noticeable changes in appearance, mood, and overall well-being that strike during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. This phase, which spans the second half of the cycle and ends when menstruation begins, is marked by a dramatic drop in oestrogen. But is this phenomenon grounded in biology, or is it just a social media trend?
The Science Behind the “Luteal Uglies”
According to Dr Louise Newson, a GP and women’s hormones specialist, the “luteal uglies” are very real. The hormonal fluctuations during this time can trigger a cascade of physical and emotional shifts. “Our hormones affect our skin, they affect our collagen, so a lot of people find their skin becomes drier, their complexion not so bright, they might have acne and spots,” Newson explains. “They might get bloating and breasts can change shape.”
Dr Helen O’Neill, an associate professor in reproductive and molecular genetics at University College London, adds that when oestrogen falls in the days before your period, progesterone rises. This hormonal shift ramps up oil production in the skin, leading to breakouts. Simultaneously, your body retains more fluids, which can result in a puffier face, general bloating, and tender, swollen breasts.
Real Women, Real Experiences
Elena Spaven, a 25-year-old actress and hospitality worker in London, can relate all too well. She says she feels “extremely bloated” during the second half of her cycle. “My skin feels dull and textured and just looks more tired in general, and my chest feels heavier and sore.”
But the effects go beyond appearance. Elena describes feeling lethargic and “completely unmotivated” during her luteal phase. “I feel like my brain is working in slow motion, I tend to become clumsy and way more forgetful,” she says. “I don’t want to socialise as much and I feel low.”
Newson notes that while women are increasingly talking about the impact of their cycles, many still feel at a loss. “These women are genuinely suffering and it’s affecting their ability to work, function, socialise and just exist,” she says. The response from others can also be dismissive. “Would you say to a man ‘Oh your testosterone is down, just don’t go to the gym, have a duvet day?’ It’s unacceptable that women have to put up with it.”
Beyond the Mirror: Mood, Relationships, and Work
The luteal phase doesn’t just change how you look in the mirror; it can also alter your interactions with the world. Henrietta, a 30-year-old freelance journalist, finds that her relationships bear the brunt of her symptoms. “If I find myself wanting to get irritated with my wonderful, hilarious, chilled out partner there’s an extremely high chance I haven’t had my coffee, haven’t eaten or that I am in my luteal phase,” she says. It also affects her friendships: “With my friends, I tend to either overshare and regret it, or isolate myself from them and regret it.”
‘Despair and Distress’
For some, the emotional toll is severe. Henrietta experiences a sense of “despair and distress” during her luteal phase, including feeling useless or having “intense flashbacks to embarrassing or upsetting experiences.” Her symptoms, which also include blurry vision and struggling to recall “basic words” in conversation, can be embarrassing at work. She wishes there was more awareness: “There are still widespread misconceptions surrounding how and why hormones impact women’s health and wellbeing.” When her period finally arrives, she feels relief.
Newson emphasises that the luteal phase is not something women can simply “snap out of.” Many are wrongly made to feel their symptoms are normal or that they are overly emotional. Charlotte Dodds, a 36-year-old business owner and mum-of-two, says people often dismiss these symptoms as “just PMS.” Her symptoms – bloating, spots, and a lack of concentration – can be a “big knock” to her confidence, especially when working with clients. She runs a business community called Baking Bosses, which helps people build baking businesses from home. “But when you’re self-employed, like I am, your calendar can’t just stop because your hormones are changing.”
How to Cope with Luteal Phase Symptoms
More education and open discussion about menstrual cycles are vital, says Elena, who only learned about the luteal phase through social media at age 24. O’Neill agrees, noting there is “so little education that women receive about the fundamental aspects of how their bodies work.” This gap in knowledge has driven many to seek advice on TikTok, where videos asking for coping strategies amass millions of views and thousands of comments – from “wear baggy clothes and avoid the mirror” to “eat chocolate.” But not all advice is helpful; some suggestions, like turning to alcohol, may actually worsen symptoms.
So what can genuinely help?
- Understand the phase: Recognising that the luteal phase is a “predictable, temporary phase” is important, says O’Neill.
- Focus on nutrition: Staying hydrated can help reduce puffiness, and easing off salty foods can make a difference.
- Limit alcohol and processed foods: These can increase inflammation, Newson explains. Reducing alcohol intake and keeping up movement can also help.
- Advocate for yourself: If you’re struggling, see a health professional. Newson encourages women to persist: “If people don’t get what they think is acceptable in the first, second, third, appointment they should go and see someone else. These symptoms don’t usually go on their own.”
The “luteal uglies” may be a trending topic, but for millions of women, it’s a monthly reality. By understanding the science, sharing experiences, and seeking practical support, women can navigate this challenging phase with more confidence and less self-blame.
